You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
