She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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