He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
