it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
