Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
