i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
