Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
