the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
