why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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