shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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