Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Congratulations! We have a period
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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