please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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