I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
