I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Be still, my beating vagina.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
