You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize