I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
