Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
