Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
