How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
