Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
