so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
