I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
