PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
