he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
