Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
