ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
