her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
