Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
