maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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