We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
