it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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