I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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