And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
