I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
