I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
