I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
