Non-Jews are for practice
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
there was a trapeze. enough said
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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