she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
