Its about making memories worth repressing
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
