Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
