the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
