I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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