even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
A bitchslap is in order.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
