Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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