just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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