hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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