i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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