i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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