can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
