i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
